Unless we're blood relatives, this won't make any sense

Actually, even if we are related by blood, this post likely won't make sense. But, for the sake of my posterity, I had to post this series of family emails that circulated this week:



From Linc:
'I arrested this dude from Omaha, Nebraska yesterday and so I hit him up about our old 'O-town' and he brought me some horrifying news....

Peoni Park closed down and has since been turned into a supermarket!!

Let me take this moment to offer my sincerest condolences to my elder siblings who can recall with great fondness and simple recollection the fun, joy, and exhilaration that Peoni Park offered to all who passed through her large black gates.

While Season and I are far too young to have ever partaken in the passion of sweet Peoni's Park, our hearts go out to those of you who knew her well....

As such, I will offer this suggestion: Being as how this Wednesday is national prayer day, may you all take a quiet moment throughout the day, garb yourselves in your favorite "The Smiths, The Kinks, or INXS" band t-shirt, put on either Oingo Boingo's 'Just another day' or Madonna's 'Gonna dress you up in my love' song from your cassette tapes (yes Josh, we all know you still have all of the above mentioned items), let the back portion of your hair grow long if you're a guy or comb your bangs up high if you're a girl and somberly reflect on the memories that sweet, innocent Peoni so effortlessly gave to all her patrons indiscriminately.

In closing, may the spirit of Peoni abide in each of your hearts forever and ever. Just remember, if you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it probably ran out of money.

Humbly yours,

Lincoln 'The Great Dane' Purcell
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

From Season:
Although I have no recollection of Peony Park and had to google it in order to find out what it is/was, I do as well send my condolences. I think I can relate because I felt a similar grief over the closure of Wet N Wild.

I'm glad that as a family we can all pull together and get through this.

Lovingly,

Season

From Tacie:
How much must my poor heart take in one day? First the news bout Peony Park...AND then to be dealt the double whammy of NO WET-N-WILD either? We must truly be in the last days. Obviously, I had no idea about the closure of either of these historical places. (In fact, where is the preservation society when you really need them?) Wow..I'm at such a loss. I can only imagine the conversation you must have had, Linc, with your detainee:
"Dude -- you know better than to deal crack. What were you thinking?"
"So -- what's up with most well-known places in Omaha? Places like good 'ole Peony Park?"
"That's 10- life for you man. I would have tried to work you a deal if you hadn't been the bearer of such sad, bad news."

Shiish -- I'm taking my sinus infection and going back to bed. This day just got worse.

May you all have the support you desperately need during these perilous times.
Love,
Tacie
PS - I feel a great desire to hear the Kinks belt out, "Summer's Gone."

From Linc:
Its almost uncanny how close to verbatim you nailed my conversation with Mr. Nebraska. The only difference was the 10 to life. California is so gay and liberal that he'll be lucky if he gets 6 months for possession of meth. Great job Democrats!! Keep up the good work, Polosi.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

From Josh:

That is funny. I'm laughing hard. Peioni park was great. I'm torn
apart!

Sent from my iPhone

From Linc:

Okay, at Josh's request, I respectfully submit that we include Soft Cell's cover of 'Tainted Love' and Wham!'s 'Careless Whisper' to the list of acceptable grieving songs for dear Peoni as well as Wet N Wild. I figured I would open it up to the group to discuss amongst yourselves

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

From Mitzi:

I'm not sure I can bring myself to wear green tomorrow.... It just seems to lively of a color when I'm in such mourning.

But we as a family can pull through... We made it through MJ's untimely death - we can make it through this.

Mitzi Carlson

Sent from my iPhone

From Josh:

I'm way to torn to share right now!

Sent from my iPhone

From Season:

Wham and "grieving" are practically synonymous. So I vote yes.

From Mom: (A.K.A. "Oh Wise One")

My Dear Sweet Children,
I know that you all have been supremely grieving today and I have sought for a way to give you comfort and solace. Alas, words fail me! I can only imagine the emotional devastation you have sustained with Linc's horrifying news! With the destruction of your childhood anchors--such as Peony Park and Wet n'Wild--you have every right to be deeply forlorn and extremely agitated. I actually was aware of these two closures, but I so hoped that you would never have to learn this sorrowful truth. I hoped to protect you from this cruel information. As I have pondered your sadness today, I have thought how tremendously bereft I would be if I learned that my beloved Tautphaus Park--the fantasy playground of my girlhood-- was no more. Happily, I can report to you that it is still alive, and indeed, thriving in Idaho Falls. So I submit to you that if you find yourselves in need of some childhood innocence bolstering, cling to that thought: Not all dreams are so viciously destroyed! TAUTPHAUS PARK LIVES!!!! And I will only pray that someday we may all unite there to view the majestic bears, the lone zebra, and the ever red-bottomed monkeys who call Tautphaus Park "HOME." May this quest soothe your troubled souls and console your aching hearts. I remain your dear, devoted,
MOTHER
xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

From Tacie:

Oh, how I have needed the words of comfort and strength that our dear mother -- our stalwart -- shared. Thank you -- from the bottom of my (laughing) heart. (Is that even possible?) I agree with Season that Wham and "grieving" definitely go hand it hand. I do firmly believe that the lead singer of Wham - -who's name has escaped my mind at the moment -- spends a good deal of time grieving -- for his actions...among other things. As we ponder the passing of our childhood dreams -- let us take a moment to blast, "WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO GO!" Perhaps this is all just a nightmare that will end? If not, perhaps, as mother said, we can all reunite at the beloved Tautphaus Park (who in the world came up with that spelling? Mother, please enlighten as I am sure you know the history??). But for now, may the leprachauns bring you luck and peace -- even if we aren't Irish.

From Josh:

That is funny, This has been a good thing to see today. I needed this today.

From Linc:

If I may be so bold as to occupy a saying coined by our elder brother and our parent's first born, "I am as jealous as a spider" when it comes to our mother's strength, determination, and perspective with relation to the death of these two familial icons. If only I could muster a fraction of her courage to address these issues head on how different my life could be but alas, I digress.

I think that Mitzi has truly hit the nail on the head. As she so expertly pointed out- we Purcell's are survivors. We pulled through the King of Pop's expiration (some of us better than others as noted by Josh's all to frequent, late night, tearful phone calls to my voicemail begging and pleading for one final 'He--he!' Or 'Sha-mon girl' as only Michael Jackson could do) but nonetheless, we have survived.

In addition, I appreciate, as I'm sure you all do, Season's wisdom in not being fooled by the all too deceptive exclamation point that George Michael so purposefully placed at the end of WHAM! Generally speaking, the exclamation point denotes some form of excitement or glee, yet Season was not blinded by this poor attempt at grammatical trickery. She recognized without hesitation that the exclamation point at the end of WHAM! is merely a facade, much like Mr Michael's attempts at heterosexuality. As such, I commend Season on her intuition and her sound logic and reason. Bravo, young lass, bravo! ( <----- You'll kindly note the appropriate use of the exclamation point). I must conclude by agreeing with all of you that although, at times, the weight of these seemingly unbearable sorrows feels as though they are too heavy to tarry on, I have found solace and comfort in this simple written communication and have noticed that it has helped with the lightening of the load and helped me to see the path before me with greater clarity. So thank you to all who have participated and may the weeks ahead bring you greater happiness than those previous. I will part with some words of encouragement from Billie Idol cerca 1985; "Its a... nice day to..... START AGAAAAAAIIIIN!" (<--- again, the appropriate use of the exclamation point). Affectionately yours, The Great Dane
PS- Mom, I had to look up every 3rd word in your e-mail. You're like a walking dictionary.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry