Have I Mentioned How I Feel About Spiders?

Just like the previous post on this topic, pictures will not be included. That is due, in part, to the fact that we didn't have the camera. But mostly it's due to the fact that I hate spiders. I'll take a picture of myself after having been vomited on...but I refuse to take a picture of a spider. I reiterate...I HATE SPIDERS. Ok.

Today was one of those days. Enough said. Suffice it to say, however, that those kind of days often mean a trip to the drive-thru on our way to some other activity. Today, it was Addysen's Activity Day at church.

I was trying to maneuver my way into traffic while pulling out of the Wendy's parking lot when Cannon let out a scream. Quickly, I slammed on my brakes and asked what the problem was. He indicated that there was a large spider in the backseat. GREAT. If that doesn't make for happy driving, I don't know what does. Quick-thinking me tossed back a napkin and told him to kill it. Unfortunately, it had disappeared somewhere into the abyss, otherwise known as our car. (There's a post for another day!)

I informed him to look for it, while lecturing on the dangers of screaming while in the car.

We pulled into the gas station where I eagerly anticipated spending $65 for 16 gallons of gas. 

Suddenly, while pumping away and cursing the economy, the rain, my straighter-than-straight hair as well as my hunger pains, Addysen let out a blood-curdling scream. Cannon burst into tears. Thankfully, the little girls sat strapped in their carseats, happily munching their oh-so-nutritious chicken nuggets and looking at the rest of us like we were nuts. 

Several of the other gas station patrons glanced our way with the same sort of look in their eyes.

Yes, Addysen had seen the spider and I quote, "IT WAS HUGE!"

She quickly informed Cannon that it was going up the back of Brynnley's seat. Cannon grabbed Kenzie's shoe and started whacking away...inches from Brynnley's head. What can I say? A man on a mission doesn't always remember to look out for the ones he loves. (Another post for another day -- when, as newlyweds, Greg jumped out of a ski tram as an out-of-control blazer came careening down the hill ahead of us. No, I don't think it ever crossed his mind to grab me and throw me out of harm's way.It was every man (or woman) for him/herself.) 

At this point, Brynnley burst into tears. From actual physical harm? Maybe. But it's more likely that she was scared of her sandal-wielding, tear-streaked brother who was trying desperately to kill the stupid spider.

Knowing there was no way to continue our trip without resolving the issue, I unbuckled Brynnley and told her to stay by me in the parking lot. The kids inside the car were still yelling -- at each other -- at the spider -- at the economy -- who knows what?!? I hadn't actually seen the intruder, but I certainly trusted that it was in the car. Cannon reported that it had gone behind Brynnley's carseat so... I began tossing children, and chicken and trash and everything else under the sun out of the car (believe me, everything under the sun is IN that car!)

(Sidenote to my family: Do you remember our camping trip when we left the tent windows open while viewing the sites and it rained all day? I have very vivid memories of pillows and sleeping bags and stuffed animals being thrown out of the tent while choice words escaped parental mouths.) 

I informed Cannon that I was going to remove Brynnley's seat and that he was to kill the spider if he saw it. It was a good plan. Unfortunately, when he did see it again, Cannon screamed, which made me scream and caused me to drop the seat. I yelled for the sandal (the only weapon within reach -- who knew the fact that Kenzie refuses to wear shoes would one day come in handy?) By this point, I had seen the spider and it was huge -- and fast! The only thing worse would have been if it was hairy. But we won't go there.

I started hacking away at the seat and the floor and it disappeared. Addysen claimed to have seen it's guts on the back of Brynnley's chair, but I am not so sure. And that is always bad. Not having a body to verify that the assassination was a success always makes one wonder.

By this point, we had caused quite a scene in the Speedway parking lot. Granted, no one came over to ask if we were ok, or if we needed help. But, one nice man said I reminded him of his daughter. I didn't ask whether or not that was a good thing. 

There was nothing left to do. We'd made a scene. A huge scene. We'd all taken turns screaming and tossing items and jumping around. We couldn't have looked like bigger idiots if we'd tried. Addysen was almost late for her activity. I was still hungry and cursing the rain and the economy (I gave up cursing my straighter-than-straight hair). There was nothing to do but laugh. 

And laugh we did. All the way to the church. 

And all the while, I kept looking in the rearview mirror "just to see."