Can Spiders Hear?

I have a huge fear of spiders. Some might even call it a phobia. Irrational? Maybe..but very real nonetheless.

I've always feared the arachnid, whether it be large or small, hairy or not, harmless or poisonous, jumping or otherwise. In fact, Arachniphobia was probably the scariest movie I have ever seen. Seriously, who watches that at a drive-in, in an open truck bed, in the desert of Las Vegas?

Spiders terrify me. In my defense, however, I have had some run-ins with some pretty scary looking creatures. And, I have inhabited homes with a variety of "tenants." (Bees, both honeybee and bumblebee, rats, mice, and alas, the spider). What can I say? We're motivated by cheap rent.

It's hard to say exactly when I fell in love with Greg. Was it the free Godfather's Pizza's he would deliver to my roommates and me in college? Or was it the day he came running to our rescue when we discovered a VERY large "8-legged-guest" looming in the back bedroom? Talk about a Knight In A Polo Shirt. Sure, happily married all these years later, he'll still kill the occasional creature for me if he has too...but arguably, he seems to have lost that spring in his step. Oh...the days of courting....

When we were first married, we lived in a tiny, run down little house. (I would call it decrepit if I was sure of the spelling.) I suppose the expectations can't be too high when rent is only $240 per month, right? Still, to share my bedroom with creatures? That's asking a lot. And so, we asked Greg's brother to share his "bedroom" instead. 

Let me explain:

Aaron spent a summer with us when he was about 14. Our little house only had one bedroom, which just barely fit our queen-sized bed. The bathroom was crooked and if you weren't fully awake during the night, it was entirely possible to fall off the leaning toilet during those 3am visits. This has nothing to do with the story, but I'm trying to help you visualize that we weren't living in the Marriott.

Aaron's "bedroom" was actually our daybed which acted as the couch in our front room. The house was old and had many marks on the walls. But, I was SO good at spotting which spots were out of place...meaning...I could walk through a room and out of the corner of my eye, spot a spider on the wall. Size did not matter. RAID was always by my side. I had access to a can in each of the 4 total rooms that made up the house.

One unfortunate night, I spotted a rather large spider on the curtains just above Aaron's bed. I think someone tried to kill it...but it fell and we didn't know whether or not the assassination attempt had been successful. So...I did what any rational person with an insane fear of spiders would do....

I fumigated his bed....and everything within a 30 foot radius. (That pretty much covered the entire property.) I stopped short of spraying RAID on the food and in the fridge but that was about it. After all, there is NOTHING worse that not-knowing if it's dead or alive. Seriously...how do you sleep if you haven't seen the guts confirming the death? Let me tell you....YOU DON'T. 

After all that RAID, we probably should have checked into the Marriott that night.

We no longer live in a crappy old house. In fact, we are very fortunate to live in a beautiful new home, complete with a mostly-finished basement. So, imagine my dismay, when I headed downstairs to vacuum the other day, only to round the corner and see a BIG, BLACK, SPIDER sitting right smack in the middle of the floor. This is the same floor where my children lay their blankets. The same floor where they build with blocks. The same floor where I lay when I do Ab-Ripper X. EWWWW.....

Of course, Greg was out of town. He's always unavailable (aka working) when disaster strikes. (September 11th, the Black Out, The Dog Collar Stuck on Addysen's Neck, Cannon's Head Stuck In the Bunkbeds). I knew I had to do something...but I was terrified. The only thought that motivated me to act was that if I left the room and the spider disappeared, I'd never be able to fully enjoy my basement again.

And so, I became increasingly grateful for my Dyson Animal...and the 15 foot extension hose attached to it. I ever-so-carefully plugged it in, opened the extension and slid it close to the spider -- still managing to keep my distance. Then, in one fell-swoop, I hit the power button and attacked. Whoosh! It disappeared.

Just for safe measure however, I kept the vacuum running for the next 5 minutes while I cleaned up the toys. It was only then that I realized I had been sneaking around. I had been holding my breath pondering the thought, "Can this thing hear me as I get into position?" 

What was I really thinking? Did I think it had the strength to miraculously climb back out of the vacuum? Was it going to hear me and run off? Was it going to turn and attack if I didn't make the first move?

One can only wonder. 

And, when the trauma of the moment is over, I'll admit, these thoughts seem a bit ridiculous. But, in the midst of the experience...who can blame the human mind for its crazy thoughts?

You can be sure, however, that upon Greg's arrival home, I insisted that we (translate to HE) do something about the problem. And so, he bought three large containers of bug killer at Home Depot yesterday. I think it's more powerful than RAID. 

For obvious reasons, there will be no picture attached to this rambling.